[More than that she thinks, and it twists her heart just to think it. ]

The world, his head, me, all of it. He was my partner, he had his ways, I know it could have happened if things were different.

[But they weren’t. Never will be.

She wipes at her eyes with her free hand, still feeling aggravated, not wanting to be sad for even a second.]

It’s never going to be different. Ellie’s here to get him back, and even if she does that, he had a whole new life there. I don’t factor in.