That stings and maybe it should but it being deserved doesn't make it sting any less, doesn't make it any easier to swallow. The fuck was she thinking? The fuck was she ever thinking, breaking kneecaps, strolling around while some thug manhandled whoever fucked her over into position for a bone-snapping? Smiling? Laughing, sitting over someone so they'd have to look at her?

What the fuck is wrong with her?

"I never let someone live long enough to get a review on how shitty I am at torture," she replies, when she's done trying to wrestle it out of her head. Or how good feels like a fruitless little correction and she lets it sink into her belly with the cream liqueur. If it comes back up later, at least it'll feel like a purge. She adds, faster: "It was all for me, and if you hate me now..."

It's fine? It's not fine?

"I earned it."