Theresa "Tess" Servopoulos (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dog_eat_dog) wrote2013-10-03 02:10 pm
dog_eat_dog) wrote2013-10-03 02:10 pm
Entry tags:
FICLET 016
From this thread.
Joel's head is heavy in her lap, his cheek against her thigh and his forehead almost against her stomach. His breath is a hot tickle on her skin, on the place where her tank top has ridden up and her pajama pants don't quite reach. She feels his every sleepy exhale though her thigh, watches his chest rise and fall in rhythm. He smells of soap and whiskey and some new citrus-and-spice cologne.
They drank a lot.
The urge to cling to him and smother herself against his chest and breathe him in has been in her for weeks now, as it always has, but it's particularly tempting now. His sleeping form makes her want to lay down in his arms and nestle there with him just for the sake of being together, even if she wouldn't sleep a wink, but god, she knows better than that. She knows she's still afraid of the potential consequences. She knows she'll just worry about infection, and she'll be terrified of turning into a monster and dragging him down with her.
Instead, she settles on stroking his hair back, over and over again. He's drunk enough that he's scarcely disturbed by it, even when she runs the pad of her thumb around the shell of his ear and pets the fine hairs around the base of his neck. Sometimes he sighs in his sleep, sometimes his fingers flex and twitch, but he's out deep.
Sleepiness fogs her brain, too, but it's not enough to claim the rest of her. For a bit, Tess just watches TV, the volume so low it's just a whisper above the sound of Joel breathing. She doesn't need the audio –– her attention is elsewhere, anyhow.
It's strange for Joel to be so vulnerable.
"Is he okay?" Ellie asks with concern, when she gets back home.
Tess replies with a nod. "He'll be fine."
Ellie comes closer so that she can see around Joel's broad shoulders and back to see his face, which is almost buried against Tess's abdomen. Ellie looks like such a little girl when she does it, eyes wide and curious, peering down on something she's never seen before. Joel just sleeps on, oblivious.
"What happened?" Ellie asks.
"He's just a little drunk," Tess says, gently, and she strokes Joel's hair again. "It was a long day."
Ellie nods, her surprise faded and replaced with concern.
"What happened, though? He looks like he was..."
Ellie trails off. Tess shrugs, carelessly, ignoring the sting in her shoulder when she does so.
"We were just seeing where we stand, Ellie. Talking about the past. Don't worry about it."
Ellie pauses. "Sarah?" she suggests.
Tess traces Joel's hairline with a finger, down along his jaw and the scruffy edge of his beard. His eyelids twitch, just slightly, and he lets out another long exhale.
"Maybe," Tess says, vaguely. She holds his hand, fingers curling around his loosely, and his fingers close around hers.
Ellie nods, and when Tess doesn't offer anything more, she sighs and disappears to her room. Sometime after that, Tess dozes off, too, head lolling forward. Sometime while they sleep, Ellie drapes a blanket over Joel and another around Tess' shoulders, and leaves a pair of water glasses on the coffee table.
Then they all don't talk about it.
Joel's head is heavy in her lap, his cheek against her thigh and his forehead almost against her stomach. His breath is a hot tickle on her skin, on the place where her tank top has ridden up and her pajama pants don't quite reach. She feels his every sleepy exhale though her thigh, watches his chest rise and fall in rhythm. He smells of soap and whiskey and some new citrus-and-spice cologne.
They drank a lot.
The urge to cling to him and smother herself against his chest and breathe him in has been in her for weeks now, as it always has, but it's particularly tempting now. His sleeping form makes her want to lay down in his arms and nestle there with him just for the sake of being together, even if she wouldn't sleep a wink, but god, she knows better than that. She knows she's still afraid of the potential consequences. She knows she'll just worry about infection, and she'll be terrified of turning into a monster and dragging him down with her.
Instead, she settles on stroking his hair back, over and over again. He's drunk enough that he's scarcely disturbed by it, even when she runs the pad of her thumb around the shell of his ear and pets the fine hairs around the base of his neck. Sometimes he sighs in his sleep, sometimes his fingers flex and twitch, but he's out deep.
Sleepiness fogs her brain, too, but it's not enough to claim the rest of her. For a bit, Tess just watches TV, the volume so low it's just a whisper above the sound of Joel breathing. She doesn't need the audio –– her attention is elsewhere, anyhow.
It's strange for Joel to be so vulnerable.
"Is he okay?" Ellie asks with concern, when she gets back home.
Tess replies with a nod. "He'll be fine."
Ellie comes closer so that she can see around Joel's broad shoulders and back to see his face, which is almost buried against Tess's abdomen. Ellie looks like such a little girl when she does it, eyes wide and curious, peering down on something she's never seen before. Joel just sleeps on, oblivious.
"What happened?" Ellie asks.
"He's just a little drunk," Tess says, gently, and she strokes Joel's hair again. "It was a long day."
Ellie nods, her surprise faded and replaced with concern.
"What happened, though? He looks like he was..."
Ellie trails off. Tess shrugs, carelessly, ignoring the sting in her shoulder when she does so.
"We were just seeing where we stand, Ellie. Talking about the past. Don't worry about it."
Ellie pauses. "Sarah?" she suggests.
Tess traces Joel's hairline with a finger, down along his jaw and the scruffy edge of his beard. His eyelids twitch, just slightly, and he lets out another long exhale.
"Maybe," Tess says, vaguely. She holds his hand, fingers curling around his loosely, and his fingers close around hers.
Ellie nods, and when Tess doesn't offer anything more, she sighs and disappears to her room. Sometime after that, Tess dozes off, too, head lolling forward. Sometime while they sleep, Ellie drapes a blanket over Joel and another around Tess' shoulders, and leaves a pair of water glasses on the coffee table.
Then they all don't talk about it.