[She'd love to feel responsible enough to have had that conversation, and she draws herself up like she might say yes just to get him off her case, but she doubts Jake's going to have the same answer.]
No. What good would it do? It would just make both of us feel shitty about it.
But it don't make you feel shitty now. You ain't fallin' in love with him,
are you?
[This is a trick question. He wouldn't mind if she did - but he
thinks she's definitely not thinking about what she's doing with Jake well
enough to even know whether she's that into him or not.]
[There's something there, and she's sure of that, but it always feels the same as getting a great shipment or a meal put in front of her. In those moments, it feels like they might get snatched away from her if she doesn't take advantage, and after, her last chance to have something might have come and gone.
She shakes her head.]
It's just a good time. I deserve a little bit of that, don't I?
[He raises an eyebrow - about half the Barge, and off-Barge, practically everyone. He's a little amused by the phrasing, catching feelings. Catching feelings is something Arthur always thought he never did, until he calmed down and really looked around.]
Sure you do. I just heard you think about him, and it didn't sound like what you sounded like when you talked about Butcher, or any of the others.
Yeah. He got back from his trip home, griped about his wife being dead, and then wanted to fuck me. Threw me around, too, so I told him to get out. I had to track him down later to get a decent apology, but we barely talked after that anyway. So whatever, right?
Yeah, yeah. [It's not like she's never kept things from him before -
though the thought makes him wince. She deserves her privacy. He never
pried into this area before, with good reason.]
Be glad I had something big to talk to you about, or I woulda brought up
all the small stuff.
A girl named Annie gave it to me. Barely knew me when she decided to let me use it, too. I bet she'd tell you that herself with a big smile on her face, she's just that kind of person.
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No. What good would it do? It would just make both of us feel shitty about it.
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But it don't make you feel shitty now. You ain't fallin' in love with him, are you?
[This is a trick question. He wouldn't mind if she did - but he thinks she's definitely not thinking about what she's doing with Jake well enough to even know whether she's that into him or not.]
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Jesus, no. Who catches feelings like that?
[There's something there, and she's sure of that, but it always feels the same as getting a great shipment or a meal put in front of her. In those moments, it feels like they might get snatched away from her if she doesn't take advantage, and after, her last chance to have something might have come and gone.
She shakes her head.]
It's just a good time. I deserve a little bit of that, don't I?
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[He raises an eyebrow - about half the Barge, and off-Barge, practically everyone. He's a little amused by the phrasing, catching feelings. Catching feelings is something Arthur always thought he never did, until he calmed down and really looked around.]
Sure you do. I just heard you think about him, and it didn't sound like what you sounded like when you talked about Butcher, or any of the others.
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[Probably. She can never be really sure. She is sure she's being a little too candid about that out of frustration, but it is what it is.]
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Is that what happened?
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He threw you around? [He knows she can take care of herself, but that still makes him lean forward, his eyes darkening.]
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[She's not sure if she's defending him or downplaying it for the sake of her own dignity. Maybe both.]
I managed it.
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I'm sure you managed it, this ain't exactly about your honor. It's about him being a piece of shit man.
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Yeah, more proof you don't have to be perfect to graduate. [He's going to have to avoid Butcher for a while, lest he punch him.]
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[She shakes her head.]
If sneaking around you is the worst Jake's got, then I think I made a decent pick, even if it's not serious.
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He's a good guy. A real good guy, sneaking or not.
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[A pause.]
And I'm sorry for not saying anything earlier.
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Yeah, yeah. [It's not like she's never kept things from him before - though the thought makes him wince. She deserves her privacy. He never pried into this area before, with good reason.]
Be glad I had something big to talk to you about, or I woulda brought up all the small stuff.
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I'm more glad I didn't have any murders, torture sessions, or kidnappings to hide.
You want me to give that warden item back?
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[He shrugs.]
Didn't catch what you were doin' with it. If I ask you, you gonna tell me the truth or is that proprietary?
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[Naive as fuck.]
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...wasn't she using it for something? [Wtf Annie]
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[ Honestly, a girl like that could probably get anyone to open a door for her. ]
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Jesus.
So. What do you use it for?
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[A shrug.]
And sometimes I check in on her temps. One of them died, so good call on her part, letting some random have it.
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She sounds like a real winner. [Little does he know.]
Sounds like you're making good use of it, in any case. Better than her.
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[To some extent, anyway. ]
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