That feels like a pressing concern; her plans for the future have included helping him for a long time, and they should, given everything he's done for her, and all the ways he's supported her.
Testing out her own graduation with a potential gunfight feels dicy. The idea of seeing Arthur harmed after settling her own future feels even worse.
He snorts and shakes his head. "He's too much of a coward. Ain't we always
do the killin' for him? He might take up his gun, but he won't dare shoot
me. And I won't try to shoot him, neither."
"I'd kill him if he tried to kill me. But if I get the chance, I'll just
take revenge on him by havin' a happy life."
He remembers something and snorts before asking her: "You know what he
liked to call me? Black Lung. Never woulda thought that wouldn't be true no
more."
He rides a little closer to her, so they can speak more easily. "Do I think
I deserve it?" He shrugs and shakes his head.
"No. But I owe it to you at the very least. If no one else, I gotta do my
best. And Jake's already out there. I got a house to build, and a horse to
take care of. And when you're gonna join me, too, I don't see a way in
which I won't be at least satisfied."
Eighteen months together and she'd certainly hope so. She takes a second longer to figure out her horse's pace, to match it to his, but she manages.
"That's true." She will be there eventually, when she's done graduating someone in turn. "I'm happy for you. You earned it. When I get my own deal, it won't have happened without you."
And who knows how many hundreds of thousands of lives that could save, in the long run? Maybe even what's left of humanity.
He hums out low sound, then takes a deep breath. He can feel it in her.
She's ready. He is, too, but it feels so big.
"Someone's gonna be so damn lucky to get you to help 'em, Tess. And havin'
been here with you, all this time, it's been an honor. One of the best
things I did in my life."
Lucky to have her. Tess smiles a little ruefully –– she and Arthur have had a good relationship. Even in the ugly moments, it worked for her. The idea of pairing with someone else after that feels a little nightmarish, even if their partnership won't end with it.
"I hope you know you've set the bar extremely fucking high," she replies, a little bit like she's joking, but she's serious, too. "You're probably the best man I've ever known in my life."
And maybe that isn't by most people's standards, given what he's done in his life, but it is to hers, and that means something.
He's always a little slow to talk, but it's worse today. Everything she
says hits home hard, and he wants to really remember every moment of this.
The sun is hanging low in the sky, but he knows it'll be a while before it
sets. In the distance he can see the silhouettes of some buffalo.
One day she's going to join him in the real thing. They'll hunt together,
and ride together, and eat what they caught in the lake. They both know
what's happening. No need to pretend.
"I wouldn't have believed that, when you first met me. But I believe it
comin' from you. Makes me feel - " He takes another breath. "I don't know.
Not that it makes everything I did alright. But it's at least led me to the
right place."
We're real survivors, she feels, with a burst of intensity that has her sitting up in the saddle a little straighter. Not just vultures on the world, waiting around to greedily scoop up what's left of others' misfortunes, looking to destroy rather than build. No need to kill people, no need to grind them under their boot, no need to shake them down for everything of value.
Tess looks at him and measures up the distance between their horses, and then she decides to veer her horse in even closer with a tug of the reins. Second rider incoming to your saddle, Arthur.
It makes him laugh, a low chuckle as he remembers the woman who
hated horses, who asked someone to give her lessons just so she
could ride with him. And look at her now. Look at them now.
He reaches out with one hand, and takes hers in his, tightly. "You made it,
lady. You did it. I was happy to be along for the ride."
He squeezes her hand. "I love you. I mean that very, very seriously."
She could laugh at being called a lady, she could laugh about him being along for the ride when she made it a hard one, but most of all she's caught by the momentary urge to look away –– how embarrassing to be loved in all sincerity, and to want to run with it and never let it go.
But it is true, and she digs deep in her heart to take it for what it is. It brushes up against her own feeling that this man may not have been the partner she chose, but nonetheless has come to mean more to her than anyone. How miserable it would be to be a person who shied away from that, or in another timeline, even killed him herself. She really could have, all those months ago, buried in her own sense of entitlement towards the world. That all feels distant now. Ancient history.
Tess laces her fingers with his, matching his grip. Lets herself smile genuinely.
"I love you too, Arthur." Even fonder, her favourite pet name: "Outlaw."
He doesn't often laugh outright, but he does it now. He can't let go of her
hand just yet, as much as he wants to gallop.
"You'll get your own of those one day. When you find your way around this
world. And you will."
He looks out, and takes in a deep breath - and then lets out a loud,
excited holler, the sound echoing around them. Hot damn, it's been a
long time coming.
He doesn't even need to ask if she'll follow. He spurs his horse on and
bends down low over the animal and is off like a shot. He listens for the
hoofbeats behind him, sure they're coming.
She's windblown and catching her breath when they finally slow –– it takes her twice as much distance as him to do so, her horse throwing its head against her pull on the reins. She rakes her hair out of her face with her hand, turning in the saddle to look at the ranch.
"Yeah. It was crazy." Her future will include more living off the land, she's sure, but the experience doesn't make it feel any less of a task ahead of her. "What's this place?"
He pulls his hat down more firmly over his eyes and catches his breath as
he leans forward to give his fake horse a fake snack - habit, and it makes
him feel good.
"Huge," she replies, dismounting. She flips the horse's reins over its head to ground them, as taught, and walks towards the ranch. It's massive. Would probably be a pain in the ass to maintain without a lot of people –– Walker ranch had been.
"Uh." He looks out and scratches his beard. "Mostly, one of the fellers that works there, I used him as a fence for stolen goods. He liked carriages the most, but he's a persnickety fucker. Real keen eye for damaged goods."
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“As you should,” she agrees. “And he can go fuck himself if he doesn’t like it, but… do you think he’s going to take that well?”
She wouldn’t have. Not for an instant.
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"He won't take it well," he predicts. "And right he shouldn't. He ruined it for himself, but he can't accept that. I doubt he ever will."
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That feels like a pressing concern; her plans for the future have included helping him for a long time, and they should, given everything he's done for her, and all the ways he's supported her.
Testing out her own graduation with a potential gunfight feels dicy. The idea of seeing Arthur harmed after settling her own future feels even worse.
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He snorts and shakes his head. "He's too much of a coward. Ain't we always do the killin' for him? He might take up his gun, but he won't dare shoot me. And I won't try to shoot him, neither."
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"That's good, at least," she replies. "And Micah?"
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"I'd kill him if he tried to kill me. But if I get the chance, I'll just take revenge on him by havin' a happy life."
He remembers something and snorts before asking her: "You know what he liked to call me? Black Lung. Never woulda thought that wouldn't be true no more."
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His future had always seemed so self-sacrificial, so guilty, mired in what he could do for Abigail and then packing it in, come what may.
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"Sometimes I forget how well you know me."
He rides a little closer to her, so they can speak more easily. "Do I think I deserve it?" He shrugs and shakes his head.
"No. But I owe it to you at the very least. If no one else, I gotta do my best. And Jake's already out there. I got a house to build, and a horse to take care of. And when you're gonna join me, too, I don't see a way in which I won't be at least satisfied."
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"That's true." She will be there eventually, when she's done graduating someone in turn. "I'm happy for you. You earned it. When I get my own deal, it won't have happened without you."
And who knows how many hundreds of thousands of lives that could save, in the long run? Maybe even what's left of humanity.
no subject
He hums out low sound, then takes a deep breath. He can feel it in her. She's ready. He is, too, but it feels so big.
"Someone's gonna be so damn lucky to get you to help 'em, Tess. And havin' been here with you, all this time, it's been an honor. One of the best things I did in my life."
no subject
"I hope you know you've set the bar extremely fucking high," she replies, a little bit like she's joking, but she's serious, too. "You're probably the best man I've ever known in my life."
And maybe that isn't by most people's standards, given what he's done in his life, but it is to hers, and that means something.
no subject
He's always a little slow to talk, but it's worse today. Everything she says hits home hard, and he wants to really remember every moment of this. The sun is hanging low in the sky, but he knows it'll be a while before it sets. In the distance he can see the silhouettes of some buffalo.
One day she's going to join him in the real thing. They'll hunt together, and ride together, and eat what they caught in the lake. They both know what's happening. No need to pretend.
"I wouldn't have believed that, when you first met me. But I believe it comin' from you. Makes me feel - " He takes another breath. "I don't know. Not that it makes everything I did alright. But it's at least led me to the right place."
no subject
We're real survivors, she feels, with a burst of intensity that has her sitting up in the saddle a little straighter. Not just vultures on the world, waiting around to greedily scoop up what's left of others' misfortunes, looking to destroy rather than build. No need to kill people, no need to grind them under their boot, no need to shake them down for everything of value.
Tess looks at him and measures up the distance between their horses, and then she decides to veer her horse in even closer with a tug of the reins. Second rider incoming to your saddle, Arthur.
no subject
It makes him laugh, a low chuckle as he remembers the woman who hated horses, who asked someone to give her lessons just so she could ride with him. And look at her now. Look at them now.
He reaches out with one hand, and takes hers in his, tightly. "You made it, lady. You did it. I was happy to be along for the ride."
He squeezes her hand. "I love you. I mean that very, very seriously."
no subject
But it is true, and she digs deep in her heart to take it for what it is. It brushes up against her own feeling that this man may not have been the partner she chose, but nonetheless has come to mean more to her than anyone. How miserable it would be to be a person who shied away from that, or in another timeline, even killed him herself. She really could have, all those months ago, buried in her own sense of entitlement towards the world. That all feels distant now. Ancient history.
Tess laces her fingers with his, matching his grip. Lets herself smile genuinely.
"I love you too, Arthur." Even fonder, her favourite pet name: "Outlaw."
no subject
He doesn't often laugh outright, but he does it now. He can't let go of her hand just yet, as much as he wants to gallop.
"You'll get your own of those one day. When you find your way around this world. And you will."
He looks out, and takes in a deep breath - and then lets out a loud, excited holler, the sound echoing around them. Hot damn, it's been a long time coming.
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"Go on, run," she orders him. She knows he wants to, and she's still scared shitless of the speed, but she's feeling bold enough to do it anyway.
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He doesn't even need to ask if she'll follow. He spurs his horse on and bends down low over the animal and is off like a shot. He listens for the hoofbeats behind him, sure they're coming.
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He takes them out to the ranch a few miles down the road, and calls out to her: "Remember that port where you went overboard? Ended up on that ranch?"
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"Yeah. It was crazy." Her future will include more living off the land, she's sure, but the experience doesn't make it feel any less of a task ahead of her. "What's this place?"
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"Emerald Ranch. Pretty big, ain't it?"
He pulls his hat down more firmly over his eyes and catches his breath as he leans forward to give his fake horse a fake snack - habit, and it makes him feel good.
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"What went on here?"
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"Uh." He looks out and scratches his beard. "Mostly, one of the fellers that works there, I used him as a fence for stolen goods. He liked carriages the most, but he's a persnickety fucker. Real keen eye for damaged goods."
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"It must be so much easier in your time. Nobody tracking where things turned up by part number or anything like that."