dog_eat_dog | IC Inbox

"Mm," Tess hums. That would be a problem. "If you can't fix it yourself, then it just becomes a liability. Not a lot of people with complex prosthetics in my world."

"Yeah! That's why I'm learning from Rhys. I'll get on top of it, and if I don't, I won't accept the prosthetic. Kind of strange how a machine is more reliable than a regular old eye, huh? Although," Hange taps next to her one remaining eye, beside her nose, "My eyes have always been shit. Heh heh."

Tess smiles a little.

"I guess if you like the new one a lot, you can eventually replace the other, too."

"Shit, you're right. Then I can move on to my legs."

"Gotta do the wrists after that," she suggests. "No strains, no sprains, no risk of breaks."

"You think? It might be more efficient to start at the bottom and go up, so I have a mechanical stomach next."

"You're skipping a lot, jumping all the way up to the stomach!" Tess snorts.

Trailing it out: "Robooooooooooootic vaginaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

Edited 2020-07-16 02:57 (UTC)

Tess laughs.

"Never have to do kegels in your life. Could add all sorts of fun features."

"I think I'd have it shoot out tiny fireworks when I dropped my pants. What's a kegel?"

"It's when you flex the muscles in your vagina over and over again. It helps keep it all tight. Fireworks are good too."

Hange lets out a giant hee-haw of a laugh. "What? They actually have a thing for that?"

"Yeah," Tess says, and she doesn't know a damn thing about how real it is, but it is, at least, a thing. Even if it isn't, it's funny. "Start now, might pay off in your forties and onward!"

"Shit! I wish a strong vaginal grip could solve my actual problems!" Hange is losing it. Fuck. The world has such foreign and strange concerns.

“Shit, me too,” she snorts. “But at least it keeps some things fun.”

"Well, I won't have to think about doing 'kegels' even once, I will just rely on the amazing hydraulic press I'll build into my robotic vagina."

“And I'm sure you’ll have every man here at your beck and call even if it’s powerful enough to crush.”

"That's how I'll build my power base. Yes, put your dick in right there - vrrt - you don't want to lose it? Swear your loyalty, then."

“Genius,” she replies. “Move it to the top of the priority list. Who needs an eyeball?”

"You're right. I was thinking too small before. I will bring it up to Rhys posthaste. Thanks for the brainstorming session, Tess!"

“Glad I could be useful.”

She grins.

“Good luck to whoever ends up being your guinea pig for fine tuning.”

"I'll just steal a hot dog from the dining hall. There's no need to be cruel." Said with the most devious possible smirk.

Tess laughs. There could have been a hundred ways this conversation went, and this one is the best.

“The guys’ll thank you.”

"And then they'll rue their days as they're forced to bend the knee! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!"

Hange is having a good time here.

Tess would be laughing hard if she wasn't still some level of physically wrecked, but it all feels worthwhile.

"You'll have to do at least once public dismemberment, you know," Tess points out. "So the rest know you're serious and functional. Or make sure your first pledge is a real talker."

(no subject)

14thcommander - 2020-07-29 05:45 (UTC) - Expand