FICLET 008

[dog_eat_dog]

When Tess and Clem take a tumble off a ledge while out hiking with the rest, Clem has to go get help.







If Tess ever doubted that something in her leg was broken, attempting to put her weight on it certainly proved it. With gritted teeth she let out a hiss of pain, head falling back for a moment and eyes screwing shut. Christ, she should have double-checked the route to the outhouses. She should have let go of Clementine's hand when she felt her footing disappear from under her, instead of dragging the kid down with her. She should have tried to land on two feet, too; with all of her weight on one foot, she never could have nailed the landing. Then again, who thinks of these things in free fall?

Clem, on the other hand, seems fine. The kid is lighter, more resilient. She stuck that landing with little more than bruised knees.

"Tess?" Clem say, warily. Clem always sounds wary with Tess. It has been the status quo since the day they met, Clem with her puppy and Tess with her gun on the castle's lawn.

"I'm alright," Tess says, eyes still closed, jaw still set.

"You don't sound alright," Clem says.

Tess ignores her for a moment, swimming in a world of pain. With all of her weight on one leg and leaning against the rocky face of the cliff, she tries a hop forward. All she gets for her trouble is a hard jerk to her injured leg that prompts a muffled howl.

"You probably shouldn't move," Clem says.

"Thanks, girl genius," Tess replies, far ruder than necessary. And then, kinder: "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Clem says. "My, um…"

"What?"

"My butt hurts."

Tess sighs. "Did you land on it?"

Clem squints at Tess, and Tess sighs.

"No," Clem says, finally. "I just fell back on it."

"You probably bruised your tailbone," Tess tells her, before shifting to put her back against the rock and ease herself down to sit. Every movement on her leg feels like a jackhammer to the bone, and tears sting in the corners of her eyes.

Clem falls silent. Instead, she looks up to the cliff face they'd just half-fallen, half-tumbled down. Christ, Tess thought, angrily, they needed a fucking fence there. Or SOMETHING to indicate that there was an awful drop there.

Joel, Lee and the rest of their party are probably still at the picnic site, too, eating and wondering why it took so damn long for the two of them to get to the outhouse and back… and they took the wrong path, evidently. By time they notice the girls are missing, they'll be looking in the wrong place. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Seated, Tess pulls out her phone. No service. Of course.

"Do you have your journal?" she asks. Tess sure as hell doesn't.

Clem shakes her head. "No. I left it with Lee."

Tess could scream.

Clem looks around them, hazel eyes wide like telescopes. Her eyes are cast up from where they'd fallen. Tess cranes her neck to look up, too; where they fell has left a streak of displaced rubble, but there's no telling how close someone above would have to be in order to see it. Would anyone know they'd fallen?

"I'm going to walk along this ledge and see if I can find a place to climb back up. You wait here."

"Are you kidding? Lee would goddamn murder me if I let you go alone. He wouldn't let you go alone to the bathroom. That is why we are here."

"You can't walk," Clem says, pointedly. She wanders close to the next ledge, which makes Tess want to reach out and snatch her back, but she doesn't err to far. Lessons learned. "And we can't just sit here. What if they don't find us?"

"Right, but there are bears out here. And it's getting dark. And I am not kidding you, he will fucking murder me if anything happens to you."

Clem looks weary at that, in a way that Tess imagines no child has ever looked. Nine years old with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Don't swear," Clem says. "Stay here. I'll find a way up and get help."

Tess almost growls from frustration, her calf throbbing and Clementine out of reach and the pain just barely enough to stop her from trying to get up again.

"I swear to God, don't move one more step," she snaps.

But Clementine is already heading off, around some rocks. In an instant, she is gone, no matter how much Tess shouts after her, angry as can be.

And then she is alone in the woods, while what little visible of the sky above is dusky pink.

Tess lets out an angry noise, one far beyond Clem's ears, and is alone.




-x-




Tess opens her eyes only to realize that she had been out.

It's hazy, but there it is, an inky blue sky just barely distinquishable from the treetop canopies overhead and the wall against her back. It's too cloudy for stars tonight.

The air is cold and the stone is cool against her skin. There's a bug hovering around her ear and she instinctively hunches a shoulder to the side of her head to block it out or discourage it somehow.

The woods are quiet, without so much as a rustle.

All that and she can't feel her leg below the knee.

Her phone may not have reception, but the battery is good. She checks it, blearily, only to realize it's been hours. By now, she assumes Clementine has gotten herself into worse trouble, and that Joel and the others are shitting their pants with worry trying to find their missing party members who were hiking only five minutes back down the path to the fucking outhouses.

Tess lets out a hard breath.

So much for a pleasant "normal" hike. God, how creature comforts like toilets had spoiled them for just going in the bushes.

And then, like angels from above, she hears Joel's voice, hollering her name. And then Ellie's, and then Lee's.

"Here!" she yells.

"Jesus fucking christ," Joel yells back. "How the hell did you manage this?"

"Tess, are you okay?" Ellie interrupts, also at a yell. "Clem says your leg's broken!"

"She's probably right!"

There's some chatter from above, indistinct, and then:

"Tess, there's no way we can get down to you and get back up again with you. The way Clementine took getting up, there's no way in hell I can carry you," Joel replies.

Tess grits her teeth for a moment.

"Alright, so what's the plan?"

"I'm comin' down. Lee's gonna take Ellie and the others back to the Castle to pick up some supplies. See if we can rig up some sort of way to lift you up 'n out."

Tess sighs.

"Don't do anything stupid getting down here, Joel."

Fortunately for them, he doesn't.



-x-



The week Clementine doesn't have someone to look after her, it's because Lee's on some goddamn loss and Carley went on that damn expedition. It's not that Ben couldn't take her in for a bit, either, but Joel and Ellie find out first are all too happy to take her in for the week.

Even if it means Tess is there, too.

And it isn't that Tess tries to scare the little girl, by any means, but Tess can't change who she is. To a rough-around-the-edges and sharp-as-hell girl like Ellie, Tess is a cool older sister-slash-mother figure who teaches her to better use guns and how to best come out on top. She can be intimidating and scary but Tess is always in her corner. Tess never puts on a baby voice, never placates with candy or toys, never makes excuses for kids.

But to a sweet-hearted little girl like Clem, Tess is Lilly all over again.

And though Tess hasn't put a bullet in anyone Clem knows yet, Tess can't deny that it will always –– always –– be a possibility.

They play "Sorry!" that night, some old board game that Tess and Joel vividly recall with nostalgia and Ellie groans at because she's been playing it half her damn life, albeit with a set with old pennies replacing half the player pieces. Clem's never played, but she's interested in learning.

"Sorry," Tess says, almost smugly, when she hops her piece on one of Ellie's pieces and sends it back to the start.

Ellie laughs and threatens to get her back, and they go around the board again. Ellie spares one of Clem's pieces even when she gets an opening, and then Joel does, too. Clem takes her time with her turn, choosing which piece to move, and she settles on getting one piece out of the start zone.

That doesn't stop Tess from taking it right out again with a smug "Sorry!"

"Oh, you're ruthless," Joel says. It sounds teasing until he sees Clementine's fallen face, and then he adds, "Come on, it's just a game."

"It's play to win, Joel," Tess says, dark eyes settling on Joel's, and she gives him a look that is positively vicious in its playfulness.

"I'm serious," Joel says, his already-bare smile fading to nothing. "Be nice, Tess. Let her get her little guys around the board."

Tess turns her eyes to Clem, who frowns.

"No hard feelings," she says, as Ellie moves, and then Joel. "You turned up an opportunity to take me out two turns ago, you know. Not my fault you didn't take advantage."

Clem moves a piece out of the start again, ignoring Tess entirely.




-x-




"Are we better people here?"

Joel opens his eyes, which Tess only sees courtesy the flashlight on his backpack. That light cuts them a little refuge from the dark rock and wood around them, Tess stretched out beside him with her head in his lap.

Her question goes unanswered for a moment, as he mulls it over.

"I dunno. Either way, nothin's gonna change the past, Tess."

Tess takes her sweet time, too.

"Back in Boston, I made enemies everywhere I went, and I liked it. Here, the closest thing I have is an asshole neighbour and her weird husband," Tess says, prompting a huff of amusement from Joel. "And a fucking nine year old girl."

That cuts Joel's amusement in favour of a contemplative hum.

"I still don't get what the problem is between you two. You got no business picking' fights with a little kid."

"It's not her," Tess argues, "it's what she represents. Four months into infection or walkers or whatever we want to call it, and she's been through every tragedy in the book."

"So?" Joel says. "Tess, so have a lot of kids."

"So it's fucked up and I don't like it," Tess says, harsher. "I don't bully the kid, Joel, I'm just wondering why no one wants this little girl to lose the coloring books and learn how to use a gun properly, not just be able to fire the damn thing. I'm wondering why everyone wants to coddle her and treat her like a kid."

Joel sighs, and doesn't reply. Tess reaches up to smack him on the arm.

"I'm serious."

"Tess, you spent all yesterday watchin' Disney movies with Ellie. There's nothing wrong with a book or dollhouse or anything."

"Ellie knows how to survive," Tess argues. "But if it makes me a shitty person for wanting Lee to teach Clem the same, then that's alright by me. I just don't want to see a kid killed because nobody told her to look out for herself first."

"It's none of your business, Tess," Joel reminds her. "You just keep your head in your own business and stop scarin' the daylights out of that girl with your attitude."

Tess scowls, and then they hear noise from above –– there's Lee and Ellie calling out again, and Ben, too.

"There's our rescue team," Joel says, with relief. "Sit up so I can move, Tess."

Tess pushes herself up to sit, pulling the picnic blanket tighter around herself for warmth as Joel gets up. Part of her wants to direct what they're doing, even from her place on the ground, but she's too damn exhausted and they have it covered, anyhow. They holler back and forth, sorting things out while she waits, uncharacteristically absent from her own rescue.

"How is it that she's not afraid of you? You're like a goddamn grizzly bear," Tess says, after a bit, while the group up top are busy rigging up some sort of pulley from the cliff above.

Joel glances down at her, a bit of a smirk on his face even as he focuses on catching the lowered ropes and sling and checking that it's nice and secure.

"Tess, I'm afraid of you sometimes," Joel says, giving a carabiner a last check. "But if you tell anyone, I'll deny it."

That gets a smirk out of Tess, one that barely flickers when he helps her up with his strong hands under her arms, even though her leg hurts so bad that the slightest movement makes her want to scream.

"Everyone knows you're a big softy under all that gruff," she says as he helps her into the sling, and she reaches to pinch his chin, ruffling his beard in the process

"Shut up and we'll get you home," he replies.

Home.

Up, up and away.





-x-







Clem is quiet.

This would be unexceptional to Tess, given that Clem is always quiet around her, except for the fact that they are alone together. Just for a moment, anyhow –– the six empty chairs at their table will no doubt be full again within ten minutes or so. Clem's silence is less an absence and more of a gaping void of awkwardness that makes Tess glance around the ballroom for the rest of their party.

Why she doesn't want to be alone with a nine-year-old, she doesn't know.

Through the sea of ball gowns and black-tie suits, she sees Joel and Lee standing by the bar. Despite his clean-pressed suit and combed hair, Joel still looks a little scruffy around the edges, as out of place as she feels. Lee looks better, with his fewer years and less experience, but there's still something that makes them stand out amongst the rest of the castle's residents.

"Do you hate me?"

Above the sound of the band –– or perhaps below it –– comes Clem's small voice, and Tess turns to look at her, surprised.

"Do I… what?"

Clem's looking at her with big, almond-shaped eyes, her lips slightly pursed.

"No," Tess says. "No, Clementine, I don't hate you."

"You're always mad at me," Clem says. "And I know it's because you think I'm useless weight."

"Look," Tess says. "It's nothing personal."

She lets it trail there, and the gulf of silence between them opens up again until Clem says, quietly, "You always say that. Lee told me it's because you're scared of being responsible for people."

Tess doesn't know how to reply, or at least she doesn't know how to reply to a nine year old saying that. Tess has always solved these arguments with fists and lashing tongues, and she's here in the middle of a ball room, surrounded by happy people enjoying themselves.

"That's okay, though," Clem continues, when Tess says nothing. "Not everyone can be like that. It's really hard for some people."

Tess looks away with a sigh, leaning an elbow against the table so she can angle herself away from the little girl. Under her sleek silk dress and pretty gold jewelry and made-up face and hairstyling, Tess feels like the ugliest creature in the world, and she knows it's true.

"It's hard not to take it personally though. Even just a little."

Tess picks up her wine glass.

Lee and Joel are approaching. Tess looks up at them and meets Joel's eyes for an instant before turning them back to the table. Across from her, Clem moves her gaze from Tess and looks up at Lee.

"I'm tired. Can we go?" she asks.

Lee looks to Tess, and then Clem, and then back to Tess. But if something clicks, he makes no comment –– he just talks to Clem, who smiles tightly at him and slides off her chair and smooths her pretty white satin dress. Tess tunes out the goodnights they exchange with Joel and herself, and she mutters a "goodbye" somewhere in there for good measure.

The moment they're gone, much to Joel's bewilderment, Tess throws her wine glass to the floor with a smash, and then the tears start rolling.





-x-




The "carriage" is less of a carriage and more of a weird sled, tilted on an angle so that the single pair of wheels took it along barely feet from the horse's hind legs, the bottom no more than a piece of canvas stretched across the frame. Tess had balked initially –– she knew that riding that low to the ground would mean being banged over ever damn rock and jag in the hiking trail –– but there wasn't much of a choice.

"Christ, is that a plow?"

"It's a litter," Lee says, as Tess tries to get comfortable in the middle. She positively glowers when he says, "Didn't you ever see Old Yeller?" and Joel pipes up that he had and suddenly the whole conversation has gone Southern.

And then, if that weren't enough, Clementine hovers by the edge of the litter, looking tired as hell. Tess wonders if the dark circles under Clem's eyes are the same as her own.

"Come here," Tess says, with a sigh. "You ride in the back with me."

Clem hesitates, and Tess scoots over a bit, teeth grit the whole time. Then she pats the space next to her.

"Take it or leave it, kid." She tries to sound more patient.

And then, reluctantly, Clem moves to sit with her. Barely a chatter-filled moment later, Tess breathes a sigh of relief (and then yelps) as the litter starts moving. Tess hates how every set of eyes present turns to her when she does.

"Alright, alright," she says, "Everybody get your fill of me being on my ass, laugh it up."

"Nobody's laughing at you," Clem says, in that usual soft voice. "They were all really worried."

"Even you, huh?" Tess says, brain signals firing directly to her mouth without any filter in-between. She yawns, then, too. "Why did you come back out to get me, anyway? It's past your bed time."

"She insisted on seeing this through," Lee interjects. "Clem always wants to help people."

There's an unspoken "and you owe her big-time" there, but Lee doesn't even need to say it. Tess is already fumbling internally, Clem leant up against her courtesy the litter's weird center of balance, and she just looks at the little girl at a loss for words.

"It's okay," Clem says. "I think she's a little tired right now."

Tess looks up at Lee, who looks just as surprised as Tess feels, and Lee just shrugs.

"Alright."

Clem shifts, just enough to look at Tess properly, the flashlight in her hand illuminating the two of them in a way that made the shadows on their faces long and dark, like they were at a campfire instead of trying to get back to the castle. Clem smiles, a little shy but with pride beaming through.

Tess smiles the most awkward smile in the universe in return.

"You did good today," Tess says, almost at a whisper. (Fuck, when does she praise anyone?) "Thanks for getting me out of there, kiddo."

Clem looks away, still smiling. She settles back in beside Tess, and in her quiet way, positively radiates joy in a way that Tess has never seen before.

"We have to take care of each other," Clem tells her, whispering in return.

Tess gives a tired, grateful little huff and reaches to put an arm around Clem.

"Yeah, yeah, I know."